"Sober curious." It sounds like a cat that's been on a silent retreat. Or a podcast hosted by a man called Jasper who sells £40 candles.
Daft name. Sensible idea. Strip away the hashtags and it just means having a proper think about your drinking, instead of doing it because it's Friday and that's what Fridays are for.
And here's the bit nobody tells you. It's not about less life.
It's about better drinks, better mornings and exactly the same amount of fun. Possibly more, because you'll remember it.
The short answer
Being sober curious means questioning your drinking habits rather than running on autopilot. You might cut down, take a month off, zebra stripe, drink only on special occasions, or stop altogether. There's no rulebook and no membership card.
The mindset shift that makes it stick is simple: you're not giving something up, you're trading up. Better drink in the glass, better morning after.
You're not "giving up", you're upgrading
The words matter. "Giving up drinking" sounds like Lent. It sounds like something your nan does with chocolate and complains about for six weeks.
Try "I fancy something better tonight" instead. Same choice, completely different feeling.
One is a punishment. The other is a man in a nice shirt ordering off the good bit of the menu.
That's why the drink itself matters so much. If your alternative is warm tap water in a pint glass, of course it feels like a sacrifice. If it's a proper alcohol-free negroni over a big ice cube, it doesn't.
The Smiling Wolf Negroni is bittersweet, herby and orangey in a can, no measuring required. You crack it, you pour it, you look like you know things.
If you were boring when you drank, you'll be boring when you stop
Sorry. Someone had to say it.
The fear is that alcohol is your personality. That without a drink you'll stand in the corner of every party like a lamp. But the funny people stay funny.
The dancers still dance. And the bloke who tells the same story about his loft conversion will still tell it, only now you'll remember every word.
Alcohol doesn't make you fun. It makes you think you're fun, which is a different thing entirely. I've got a whole piece on how stopping drinking doesn't mean stopping having fun, if you need convincing.
Keep the bits you actually loved
Here's a useful exercise. Think about what you loved about drinking, apart from the alcohol.
The smell of a good wine, the pop of a cork, the ceremony of a whisky by the fire. (Yes, that's a ritual. That's a banned word. I'll put a pound in the jar.)
Most of those bits you can keep. I was a peaty whisky fan in a previous life, and Glen Dochus Island scratches exactly that itch: peat smoke, sea salt and a long warming finish at 0.0%. It's made to be mixed with water, not drunk neat, but a splash in a heavy glass and you're on a beach in Jura in a big jumper.
If you were a fizz person, Miris Blend Blanc de Blancs has that biscuity, lemon meringue thing that makes bubbly feel like bubbly. And it works with fish and chips, which is the only food pairing test that matters in Yorkshire.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing
The wellness industry loves an extreme. Thirty-day detoxes, cold plunges at dawn.
A man on Instagram who gave up drinking and now runs ultramarathons for fun and won't shut up about it.
You don't have to be that man. You can cut down. You can zebra stripe, alternating one drink with an alcohol-free one.
You can save alcohol for weddings and big birthdays. Or you can stop completely, which is what I did in the end.
All of these count. The only wrong answer is the one you didn't choose.
Better drinks, not less life: what it looks like in real life
It looks like a Saturday morning that actually exists. Taking your kid to the park without sunglasses on in November. Remembering the end of the film.
It looks like still going to the pub, still raising a glass at the wedding, still toasting at midnight. Just with something in the glass that doesn't steal your Sunday. For big occasions, Pierre Zéro Sparkling Chardonnay is a full bottle of French fizz at true 0.0%, so everyone at the table gets a proper glass, including the driver.
And it looks like telling your mates without a big speech. If that bit fills you with dread, here's how to tell your mates you've stopped drinking without it turning into an intervention.
Why this time can be different
Most attempts to drink less fail because they're built on guilt and gritted teeth. That's a rubbish fuel. It runs out by the second weekend.
Curiosity is better fuel. You're not proving anything. You're just finding out what happens.
How you sleep, how you feel, what you spend, what you actually enjoy. If you want the habit science behind that, have a read of why cutting down sticks this time round.
The serious bit
In the UK, drinks labelled alcohol-free can contain up to 0.5% ABV, so they're not all 0.0%. If you need zero alcohol, for example in pregnancy, for medical reasons or for religious reasons, check the label every time.
If you're pregnant, taking medication or have a health condition, speak to your GP before making changes. If you drink heavily every day, don't stop suddenly without medical advice, because alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. If you're worried about your drinking or someone else's, the NHS lists free alcohol support services you can contact in confidence.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
