Somebody once called me "sober curious". The only thing I'm curious about is why I walk into a room and forget what I came in for. I'm 46. It happens a lot.
The phrase sounds like a podcast hosted by a man in a linen shirt who says "space" a lot. But the idea's simple. You're wondering what life looks like with less booze in it, or none, and you'd like something decent in your hand while you find out.
So here's the deal. Tell me what you used to order, and I'll tell you what to have instead.
No lectures. No sad orange juice in a wine glass.
The short answer
The best sober curious drink alternatives do the same job as your old drink, not just wear the same label. Lager drinkers want crisp and cold, so go for a proper alcohol-free helles. Wine drinkers want zing with food, so try a dry alcohol-free white or a sparkling tea.
G&T fans want bitter and botanical, so grab an alcohol-free gin alternative and a good tonic. Cocktail people want bittersweet, so an alcohol-free negroni does the trick. Whisky fans want smoke, and yes, there's one for that too.
If you want a wider list, I've already done what to drink instead of alcohol. This one's the like-for-like version. Your usual, translated.
If you drink lager: crisp, cold, no fuss
Lager is the hardest one to fake and the easiest to get wrong. A lazy alcohol-free lager tastes like a wet beer mat. The good ones have a biscuity malt backbone and enough fizz to wake you up.
My pick is Nirvana Bavarian Helles. Gentle biscuit, smooth finish, 66 calories a can, and a couple of 2026 awards on the mantelpiece. It's the lager for people who just want a lager and don't want to talk about it.
Want more choice? Our alcohol-free lager and pils shelf runs from Bavaria to Bristol.
It's the Ocean's Eleven of lagers. Everyone's got a speciality.
If you drink IPA or pale ale: chase the hops
Hoppy beers are where alcohol-free brewing has properly caught up. Hops carry loads of flavour, so you lose less when the alcohol goes.
Kirkstall Tropicous is brewed just down the road in Leeds. Mango, guava, pink grapefruit and a full body. It's the most optimistic thing to happen in Leeds since someone wore shorts in April.
If you drink stout: dark, smooth, sofa
Stout drinkers want body. Roast, chocolate, a bit of weight on the tongue.
Nirvana Dark & Smooth brings cocoa, toasted grain and a touch of vanilla, and it's certified gluten free. It's built for a wet Tuesday. Which, in West Yorkshire, is most Tuesdays.
If you drink white wine: zing is your friend
This was me, once. Big wine drinker.
I ended up swapping to kombucha, which is a whole other story about kombucha for wine lovers. But if you still want wine in the glass, here's the trick.
Look for dry and zesty, not sweet and jammy. Miris Blend Édition Premier Blanc is a German blend with Riesling in it: elderflower, lemon, gooseberry and a salty sea-breeze note. There's a touch of sweetness, which makes it brilliant with a curry.
New to this? My guide on how to choose alcohol-free wine will save you from the bottle that tastes like grape squash.
If you drink rosé or fizz: try sparkling tea
Hear me out. Sparkling tea sounds like something an influencer would sell you for £40 with a crystal in the box. It's actually a sommelier's trick.
Copenhagen Sparkling Tea LYSERØD is dry and pink, with red berries, red apple and oolong for a bit of grip. Pour it into a wine glass at a long lunch and nobody feels short-changed.
If you drink G&T: same glass, different Saturday
Let's be honest, a G&T is mostly tonic. The gin was just the bit doing the talking at 11pm.
Smiling Wolf Botanical is distilled from six botanicals and comes in at about six calories a measure. Big glass, lots of ice, a decent tonic, slice of cucumber. Done.
If you drink cocktails: bitter does the heavy lifting
Bitterness is the secret weapon. It slows you down and makes a drink feel grown-up, which is more than can be said for me.
The Smiling Wolf Negroni comes ready in a can: Mediterranean herbs, savoury botanicals and a hint of orange. Pour it over a big ice cube with a twist of orange peel, then put your feet up. It contains caffeine, so maybe not your last drink of the night.
If you drink whisky: smoke without the fire
In a previous life I was a peaty whisky fan. The smokier the better. If it smelled like a bonfire on a beach, I was in.
Glen Dochus Island is the one for that itch: peat smoke, sea spray, pepper and a bit of tar. It's 0.0% and made to be mixed, one part to three parts water or mixer, not sipped neat.
Think Gandalf the White to your old Gandalf the Grey. Different outfit, same wizard.
How to work out your swap
Ask what your old drink was actually doing. Cooling you down after work? Going with food? Telling your brain the week was over?
Match the job and the swap sticks.
What you don't need to do is swap every hangover for a five-hour run. You'll know the type. Lean, smug, and still out there somewhere on Ilkley Moor, telling a sheep about his resting heart rate.
And don't buy a crate of one thing. Mix six or more drinks in our build-a-box and you get 5% off, 10% off at 12 and 15% off at 24. It's the cheapest way to find your new usual without committing to 24 cans of a mistake.
The serious bit
Lots of alcohol-free drinks contain up to 0.5% ABV. That's tiny, but it isn't zero. If you need zero, check the label or shop our 0.0% collection.
If you're pregnant, on medication or in recovery, check with your GP or support team first. If you're worried about how much you drink, Drinkaware has free, confidential advice, and your GP can point you to NHS support.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
