Wine people are fussy. I can say that because I was one. I could tell you a Rioja from a Malbec, talk about "legs" without giggling, and finish a bottle while pretending I was "just letting it breathe".
Then I found kombucha. It became my wine alternative, and now I run a shop full of fermented things. My younger self would be horrified. My younger self also thought boxed wine was a reasonable picnic plan, so his opinion doesn't count.
So this is a matchmaking service. Tell me what you drink, and I'll tell you what kombucha to try first. Like a dating app, but with fewer photos of men holding fish.
The short answer
Kombucha works for wine lovers because it's got the things wine people actually like: acidity, a bit of tannin from the tea, dryness and a proper finish. Match the style to your usual bottle. Crisp white fans want a dry, citrusy, green tea kombucha. Red fans want a deeper, darker, less sweet one. Natural wine fans want the funky stuff. Avoid anything that tastes like a fruit salad, at least to start.
Why kombucha speaks wine
Kombucha is tea, fermented with a living culture. That fermentation gives it sharpness and a gentle fizz, and the tea gives it tannin and grip. Those are the same things that make wine feel grown-up.
It won't taste like wine. Please don't go in expecting a Burgundy. But it hits the same spots on your tongue, and it fills the same gap at 6pm. If you want to see the two go head to head, I've done alcohol-free wine vs kombucha properly.
If you drink Sauvignon Blanc or Riesling
You like it zingy, crisp and bright. Go for a dry kombucha made with green tea, with citrus, apple, elderflower or herbal notes. Fizz should be lively, finish should be clean.
Not quite ready for kombucha? Copenhagen Sparkling Tea LYSEGRØN is a sparkling tea rather than a kombucha, but it's a great stepping stone. Citrus, green tea, lemongrass and green apple, with fine bubbles. It's the closest thing to a chilled Sauvignon I've found that wasn't grown in a vineyard.
If you drink Chardonnay or anything "rounded"
You like a bit of body. Look for kombucha made with oolong or a blend of teas, with stone fruit, baked apple or a little spice. Something with a softer fizz and more weight.
For a non-kombucha option on Chardonnay nights, Copenhagen Sparkling Tea BLÅ is floral, with white teas and a long finish from first flush Darjeeling. They describe the tannins as "like a fine white wine", and for once the label isn't exaggerating.
If you drink Pinot Noir or light reds
You like red fruit with a bit of bite. Try kombucha with sour cherry, hibiscus, redcurrant or a black tea base. You want tart and lifted, not jammy.
And honestly, on some nights, a red wine lover just wants red wine. Fair enough. ILEX Saint-Émilion Merlot is a proper alcohol-free red, with plum, black cherry, soft tannins and cedar. Have a look at the best non-alcoholic red wines if you want more.
If you drink natural wine
Ah. You lot. You like it cloudy, a bit wild and slightly unpredictable, like a Year 9 school trip. Good news: you'll probably love kombucha the most.
Go for unpasteurised, funky, small-batch brews with herbs, florals or earthy notes. The more "alive" it tastes, the happier you'll be. You'll be telling people about it at dinner parties within a fortnight. Try not to.
If you drink Aperol spritz (I know it's not wine, shush)
Here's a fun one. The Smiling Wolf Aperitivo Spritz actually contains kombucha, plus 18 Mediterranean herbs and bitters. It's bittersweet and bubbly, and it comes in a can. Over ice, slice of orange, job done.
If you drink "whatever's open"
No judgement. This was me for years. The bottle was open, therefore it was the bottle I was drinking.
Start with a dry ginger or plain black tea kombucha. They're the all-rounders, the Swiss Army knives of the booch world. Then work your way out from there. My whole range lives at our sister shop, Kombucha Club, or you can pop into the taproom in Otley and try a few before you commit.
What to avoid (if you want it to feel like wine)
Super sweet kombuchas. Tropical smoothie flavours. Anything that tastes like it was designed by a nine-year-old with access to a sugar bowl. They're not bad drinks. They're just not wine-lover drinks.
Also, be wary of bottles that talk more about wellness than flavour. If the label spends three paragraphs on your "inner balance" and none on what it tastes like, put it back. Life's too short.
How to serve it like a wine person
Lightly chilled, not freezing. Too cold and you lose the tea. In a wine glass, so you get the smell and the swirl. Yes, you can swirl kombucha. No, you won't look daft. Well, a bit.
Serve it with food. Dry styles love salty snacks, cheese, pickles and fish. Deeper styles go with mushrooms, roast veg and richer dishes. If you want it to fill a weeknight, here's an example evening where kombucha replaces the wine, minute by minute.
And if you're just cutting down rather than stopping, that's fine too. The NHS tips on cutting down suggest a few drink-free days a week, and kombucha is a very nice way to fill them.
The serious bit
Kombucha is fermented, so it can contain small traces of alcohol. Drinks up to 0.5% ABV count as alcohol-free in the UK, but that isn't 0.0%, so check the label if you need zero. If you're pregnant, on medication or managing a health condition, check with your GP first. If you're worried about your drinking, Drinkaware and the NHS have free, confidential support.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
