Every office fridge in Britain contains the same four things. A yoghurt that's been there since 2019. A Tupperware with no lid and a smell. Half a pint of milk with "KAREN'S DO NOT TOUCH" on it in angry Sharpie. And one can of warm diet cola that nobody will admit to buying.
Then Friday comes round and someone wheels in a crate of lager and two bottles of warm prosecco, and that's the "team social". Anyone not drinking gets the diet cola. Lucky them.
We can do better. Here's a full, shelf-by-shelf example of an alcohol-free office drinks fridge. Steal it. I won't tell your boss.
The short answer
A good sober office drinks fridge has four shelves: alcohol-free beer for the Friday social, ready-to-drink alcohol-free cocktails and spritzes, something fizzy that isn't beer, and a couple of fun wildcards. For a team of about 20, start with around 48 drinks, see what disappears first, and reorder that. A 48-drink order also hits the biggest box discount.
The example: a 20-person office, 48 drinks
This is an example, not a real client, so no offices were harmed in the making of this fridge. Imagine a 20-person team in Leeds. A Friday social every week, the odd birthday, and a 3pm slump that hits like the end of Titanic. Everyone knows it's coming, and it's still devastating.
Here's how I'd fill it.
Top shelf: the beer (18 cans)
This is the bit that makes Friday feel like Friday. Three styles covers most people.
A crisp lager for the lager crowd: Firebrand Little Wave is smooth and clean, from the edge of Bodmin Moor, and just 31 calories a can. A pale ale for the craft beer bores (I say that with love, I am one): Loch Lomond Southern Summit brings big grapefruit and orange from Summit and Citra hops. And a light golden ale for anyone who's "not really a beer person": Athletic Upside Dawn, clean and citrusy at 45 calories.
Six of each. If you want more ideas, our list of low-calorie alcohol-free beers has loads that fit an office fridge nicely.
Second shelf: cocktails and spritzes (12 cans)
Not everyone wants a beer. Ready-to-drink cocktails mean nobody has to stand in the kitchenette muddling mint like a contestant on Bake Off.
Smiling Wolf Aperitivo Spritz is an alcohol-free spritz in a can, bittersweet and bubbly. Pour it over ice with a slice of orange and the open-plan office briefly becomes Lake Como. Twisst Mojito is lime and mint at 0.0%, and still, not fizzy, which is handy for anyone who's off bubbles. Six of each, or grab the pre-mixed cocktails range and mix it up.
Third shelf: the fizzy not-beer (12 cans)
This is for celebrations and the people who'd usually have a glass of wine. Wild Life Botanicals Blush is botanical sparkling rosé in a can: wild strawberry, rosehip and elderflower. No corkscrew, no flutes, no one breaking a glass on the carpet tiles. Six of those.
And for the cider drinkers, six cans of Two Farmers 0.0%, a medium dry Herefordshire cider with no added sugar. Naturally sweet, a bit tart, and the only thing in the fridge that will ever be described as "refreshing" in a team meeting.
Bottom shelf: the wildcards (6 cans)
Every fridge needs one thing that starts a conversation. Mocktails Espress0% Martini is an alcohol-free espresso martini in a nitro can, made with cold brew espresso and vanilla. Pour it cold and it forms a crema. It's the 3pm slump's worst enemy, because it's got coffee in it. Six cans. They'll be gone by Wednesday.
What about kombucha and the "gut people"?
There's always someone in the office who's into fermented things. I know, because I'm usually that person, banging on about SCOBYs while everyone else edges towards the door.
We don't sell kombucha on this site, but my sister shop Kombucha Club does. A few bottles on the bottom shelf keeps the fermented crowd happy. Keep it properly cold.
Why the fridge actually matters
Drinks are how offices say "well done" and "time to relax". If the only way to join in is with alcohol, anyone not drinking has to explain themselves. Pregnant, driving, on medication, training for a half marathon, cutting down, stopped altogether, or just not fancying it on a Thursday. Nobody should have to give a TED talk to get a decent drink.
A good alcohol-free fridge makes not drinking completely normal. No fuss, no questions. There's more on handling the social side in how to cut down socially without missing out.
To be clear, a fridge won't fix a bad boss. It won't stop Gary replying-all. But it does mean the person on the sparkling rosé is having just as nice a Friday as the person on the lager. Arguably nicer, by Saturday morning.
Making it work long term
Start with the 48, then watch. Whatever's gone first, reorder more of. Whatever's still there in a fortnight, swap for something new. Offices are like toddlers. They tell you what they like by leaving everything else on the plate.
Keep the fridge cold, too. A warm alcohol-free beer is a sad thing. And put alcohol-free drinks at every work do, not just in the daytime fridge. If the Christmas party is a free bar of wine with a lone jug of orange squash, people notice.
Ordering for the office
You can build a box with any mix of drinks. Mix 6 or more for 5% off, 12 or more for 10% off, and 24 or more for 15% off, across the whole site. So a 48-can office order gets the full 15%. Delivery is free on UK mainland orders over £85, and £4.95 under. We deliver UK only.
If your office is near Otley, pop into Functional Drinks Club at 7 Manor Square, LS21 3AP, and grab some over the counter. Online orders can't be collected from the taproom, but walking in and buying is very much allowed. We'll even help you carry them to the car. Probably.
The serious bit
In the UK, drinks up to 0.5% ABV count as alcohol-free. That isn't 0.0%, so if anyone in the team needs zero, check the label. Every product page here shows the exact ABV.
Anyone who's pregnant or on medication should check with their GP. And if you, or someone at work, is worried about their drinking, Drinkaware and the NHS tips on cutting down are a good, free place to start.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
