When you stop drinking, nobody tells you about the free time. Suddenly it's Friday night, you're wide awake, and you've got a whole evening ahead of you like an open road. Terrifying.
The answer? New rituals. Same moments, better mornings. Here's how to reboot your week. From a man whose idea of a wild Friday now involves fermented tea. I've made my peace with it.
Friday night: the big pour
Friday deserves ceremony. Heavy glass out. Pour a big 550ml bottle of Sam Smith's Alcohol Free Brown Ale, brewed in Tadcaster since 1758. Malty, coffee, caramel. Old school, like your dad's record collection.
Add a takeaway and a film you'll actually see the end of. Revolutionary.
Sunday dinner: the grown-up glass
A roast without a glass of red is just meat and potatoes having a sit down. Pour Noughty's organic red into your best glass. Swirl it. Sniff it. Say “oaky”. Nobody knows what that means anyway.
The after-work G&T
Pearsons London Botanic, Mediterranean tonic, loads of ice, cucumber. The fizz, the clink, the first sip. It's the ritual you were after all along.
Celebrations: the cork
Promotion? Birthday? Survived the family WhatsApp group? Pop Pierre Zéro Sparkling Chardonnay, French fizz at 0.0%. Make a speech. Make it too long. Everyone will remember it, for once.
The after-dinner flex
A small, ice-cold glass of Pallini Limonzero. Proper Italian limoncello at 0.0%. Imagine a terrace on the Amalfi coast. Ignore the rain in Leeds.
Rituals with no glass at all
Saturday breakfast you actually get up for. A Wednesday quiz you finally win because you can still read the questions at 10pm. A parkrun, if you must.
But careful with the parkrun. That's how they get you. One parkrun becomes five-hour runs every Sunday. Swapped hangovers for hamstrings. Still out the game. “Get busy living,” said Shawshank. Not “get busy running”.
Your rules
If drinks that taste like the real thing aren't for you, skip them and pick something different. And if you'd rather avoid any trace of alcohol, use the 0.0% filter on any collection.
The deal bit
Mix any 6 drinks for 5% off, up to 15% for 24. Wine and spirits get 10% off 6 bottles. More in our guide to stopping. Now go reboot your Friday.
The serious bit
If you've been drinking heavily every day, have a chat with your GP before you stop, because stopping suddenly can be dangerous. They'll help you do it safely.
