If you've been following me, you'll know that I pull my hair out on a regular basis at the quality of non-alcoholic drinks widely available to the public. At 46, I haven't got that much hair left to pull.
Becks Blue is a particular horror story that continues to feature in most bars and restaurants across the UK.
No more needs to be said about that. We've all experienced it once in our life, I'm sure.
However, the reason I pull my hair out is that there are so many amazing non-alcoholic drinks out there now. There's no need for the choice to be the same as it was 5 years ago.
It's a scandal I say. A damn scandal!
The short answer
Mash Gang are a UK alcohol-free craft brewery, born in lockdown, who brew everything at 0.5% ABV and are famous for bold, slightly bonkers flavours. Think chilli and mango IPAs and chocolate cherry stouts. If you want to try them, start with Mash Gang Chug, their friendly hazy pale, then work your way up to the weird stuff.
Why Mash Gang are the Willy Wonka of alcohol-free beer
So, I'm on a mission to bring the awesome non-alcoholic world to life for everyone.
It starts today with the non-alcoholic craft beer world. And with one brand in particular, Mash Gang.
In my eyes, the founder Jordan is the Willy Wonka of the non-alcoholic craft beer world.
The flavours, the experimentation, the innovation seen in the drinks that are coming out on a monthly basis from Mash Gang are nothing short of amazing.
What's even more amazing is that Jordan only started brewing in 2020, during the first lockdown.
It's this very point that goes to the heart of why Mash Gang are breaking convention and making drinks that are taking the non-alcoholic world by storm.
He's not weighed down by tradition. He doesn't have limiting beliefs on what a beer could be. He's not scared to explore what's possible.
Go back and say that paragraph again in your head, but use the narrator voice from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It makes the last sentence really pop.
From a bucket in the kitchen to Brewer of the Year
Anyway, it's this mindset that saw him nominated for Brewer of the Year again.
From starting in his kitchen with a bucket to being nominated for Brewer of the Year.
Mindset. Resilience. Vision.
All three are vital ingredients when it comes to becoming a Category King.
Make no mistake. That's where Mash Gang are heading. The Kings of the non-alcoholic craft beer world.
But how have they done it in such a short space of time?
There's a number of reasons.
The main one being they created limited runs of their beers in the early days. It meant they stumbled on to one of the biggest levers you can pull in sales today.
FOMO.
They created Fear of Missing Out.
It also helps that they have a great product. And when you combine the two, you create another key ingredient for growth.
Urgency.
It's how they got me. I'm now a raving fan.
The drink that got me: National Anthem
The drink?
It was the Mash Gang National Anthem.
It's a Cherry Cola Ice Cream Float Pastry Stout.
It's a mouthful to say, and it sounds kinda ridiculous if you're ordering it in a shop or bar.
However, it's nothing short of sensational.
The taste, especially if you like Cherry Cola, will blow you away.
And it's a limited run, meaning once it's gone, it's gone.
It's why I scour around for them, and it's also why I decided to put 12 of my cans into a face-off against a Morello Cherry Brownie baked by the kick-ass baker, "The Girl Who Bakes".
It's what this drink deserves. To be paired with a food that can match its boldness and originality.
And I love that I got a baker who provides a lot of the cafes around Leeds with their bakes to take up the challenge.
Not only that, she created a bad-ass brownie to go against a few other Mash Gang drinks.
The Mash Gang Superstack versus Maple & Pecan Brownie. Banger.
That face-off was a while back now, so the brownies are long gone. I've checked the tin. Twice.
The core range: Stoop and Chug
Don't be fooled though. Mash Gang do more than be bold. They have launched a core range of non-alcoholic beers that stand up against anything on the market. Alcoholic or not.
"Stoop" is their take on a traditional American Pilsner, and it's right up there with the best of them. If you're a lager drinker, this is the one for you.
"Chug" is their take on a Hazy Pale Ale. It's another banger.
Everybody who has bought these from us loves them. Browse the full non-alcoholic craft beer collection to get them delivered anywhere in the UK.
I sold out the first weekend of having them in stock.
The core range from Mash Gang has solved the problem I was having. Consistency.
If I was to be a Mash Gang stockist I needed to know that I could always order Mash Gang beers when I was running low.
If customers were turning up wanting to buy Mash Gang and I didn't have any, then that reflected on Functional Drinks Club.
It's the double-edged sword of collaborating with other breweries to make limited runs of awesome drinks. If you get attached to a favourite, when it's gone you're left with nothing but heartache.
With the core range always being there, I no longer have that problem.
The only problem I now have is convincing Jordan to do another run of National Anthem because I think there's hardly any left in the UK.
It's my drink. I need it in my life. He said he might do it again next year.
What's in the fridge right now
Quick update from the future. Stoop isn't on our shelves at the moment, and National Anthem is still a beautiful memory. But the Willy Wonka factory hasn't stopped.
Mash Gang Chug is still the friendliest hazy pale going, with tropical hops, oats for that fluffy body and a sneaky touch of chilli at the end. Hand one to the mate who "doesn't do alcohol-free" and watch their face.
Mash Gang Journey Juice is mango, lime zest and chilli salt in a hazy IPA. It's the only journey I'll ever recommend on this website. Like a margarita and an IPA had a baby.
And for National Anthem fans, Mash Gang Lesser Evil is a chocolate and cherry pastry stout with cacao, vanilla and oats. It's pudding, not a pint. Black Forest gateau in a can, with no dairy in it at all.
If you like the sound of that, our alcohol-free stouts are worth a rummage too. And if you want to see what else has landed, Andy and I unboxed 20-odd new alcohol-free drinks on camera, which is about as close to a Wonka factory tour as Otley gets.
Come and try them
If you want to experience the full Mash Gang range, order online for UK-wide delivery, or pop into our Otley taproom to see what's currently in stock.
We try new Mash Gang creations. We chew the fat. We have a laugh.
As for Mash Gang, I will be watching their continued rise to the top of the mountain to be Category Kings of the non-alcoholic craft beer world.
And from time to time I'll drop Jordan a message, and like any humble visionary he always finds the time to reply even though he is jetting around the world building the biggest non-alcoholic brand we'll see in our lifetime.
And if you take one thing from this article, make sure it's a promise to yourself to experiment and try the Mash Gang range of Willy Wonka flavours. If you want to know which other breweries are worth your money, I've rounded up the alcohol-free craft beer brands I'd actually back. And if you're a lager person, read why we put Athletic Noble Pils on tap.
Be careful though, you might get hooked on a limited run...
The serious bit
Mash Gang beers are 0.5% ABV. In the UK, drinks up to 0.5% ABV count as alcohol-free, but that isn't 0.0%, so check the label if you need zero. If you're pregnant or on medication, check with your GP first.
If you're worried about your drinking, Drinkaware and the NHS have free, confidential support.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
