Every wedding has one. The guest who isn't drinking, standing by the bar holding a warm orange juice from a carton, watching the ice melt in someone else's Prosecco. They're smiling. Inside, they're quietly dying.
It might be your pregnant cousin, your designated driver, your mate who's stopped drinking, or your Uncle Dave who's "on antibiotics" (sure, Dave). Whoever they are, they came to celebrate you. They deserve better than a lime floating in fizzy water like a lost lilo.
So this guide is for the couple planning the drinks. Here's how to make your alcohol-free guests the MVPs of the day, from the toast to the last dance.
The short answer
Good alcohol-free wedding drinks need a moment for each part of the day: proper alcohol-free fizz for the toast, a still wine for the meal, decent alcohol-free beer for the evening, and one jug-style drink for the garden. Put them on the same table, in the same glasses, as everything else. Plan roughly the same number of drinks per non-drinking guest as you would for a drinking one. They're thirsty too.
Wondering which cans look best on the bar? Go for proper craft cans with great artwork, like the ones in the Yorkshire beer box below, then pour them into the same glasses as everyone else. Nobody's ever taken a photo of a can of supermarket shandy.
The welcome drink and the toast
This is the big one. Everyone raises a glass, and the non-drinkers want something that looks like it belongs in the photo. Not a tumbler of cola next to 80 flutes of fizz. That's like turning up to a black-tie do in a onesie.
Wild Idol Sparkling Rosé is literally described as made for weddings and big toasts. It's a true 0.0%, with strawberry, peach and rose petal and fine bubbles. For a white, Miris Blend Blanc de Blancs brings lemon, green apple and a hint of biscuit, with creamy bubbles. Have a look at the whole alcohol-free sparkling range.
If you'd rather give every guest their own bottle for the toast, mini Pierre Zéro Sparkling Chardonnay 20cl bottles are a single serve each. Easy for the venue to hand out, and nobody has to guess what's in the flute.
The showstopper (for the drinks table)
Want the non-drinkers to have their own "ooh" moment? Get a magnum. Copenhagen Sparkling Tea BLÅ in a 150cl magnum is a floral sparkling tea made from up to 13 organic teas, and it drinks like a fine sparkling wine. Nothing says "we thought about you" like a bottle the size of a toddler.
The wedding breakfast
Have alcohol-free wine on the tables, not just behind the bar where people have to ask for it. Asking for it is awkward. Nobody wants to explain their life choices to a 19-year-old in a waistcoat.
Our alcohol-free wine range has whites, reds and rosés for the meal. If you're buying bottles in bulk, the wine and spirits bottle deal gives you 10% off 6 bottles and 15% off 12. You can mix and match with build a wine box.
The evening do
The DJ's playing Mr Brightside, your aunt is doing the worm, and the non-drinkers want a beer. A proper one.
For a Yorkshire wedding, the Yorkshire Alcohol Free Beer Gift Box brings together lagers, IPAs, pale ales and stouts from the likes of Kirkstall, Brew York, Ilkley and Abbeydale. And for the crowd who want a straight-up lager, Ilkley Brewery x Sleaford Mods is a pale, unfiltered lager with lemon and honey notes. 5p from every can goes to War Child too, which is nice.
Every drink on the site counts towards the box deal, so mix any 6 or more drinks for 5% off, 12 or more for 10%, and 24 or more for 15%, using build a box.
The garden jug
Summer wedding? You need a jug. Every British garden party since about 1952 has had a jug.
ANON English Garden is an alcohol-free summer cup with summer fruits, cucumber, mint, orange, apple and strawberry. Mix one part with three parts lemonade, load it with fruit and mint, and put it somewhere sunny. It'll vanish faster than the sausage rolls.
Little things that make a big difference
Use the same glassware for everyone. Put the alcohol-free drinks on the menu with proper names, not "soft drinks". Brief the bar staff, so they know what you've got and don't just point at the cola.
And if some of your guests want to drink, but less, they can swap between the two all night. I've written about zebra striping at a wedding for exactly that crowd. For general party planning, there's my guide to alcohol-free hosting as well.
Try before you buy, in Otley
You'd taste the cake before you ordered it. Do the same with the drinks. Pop into our taproom at 7 Manor Square, Otley and try a few. If you're planning something big, or you'd like to chat about a private tasting or our pop-up bar for Yorkshire weddings, email me at kevin@functionaldrinksclub.co.uk.
One practical note: online orders are delivered anywhere in the UK, but they can't be collected from the taproom. So get them sent to you, or straight to the venue if they're happy to take deliveries. Delivery is free on UK mainland orders over £85, which a wedding will hit faster than the best man hits the dance floor.
The serious bit
Drinks up to 0.5% ABV count as alcohol-free in the UK, but that isn't 0.0%, so check the label if you need zero. That matters for pregnant guests, people in recovery and anyone avoiding alcohol for medical or religious reasons, so label the 0.0% drinks clearly. Anyone pregnant or on medication should check with their GP. If you're worried about your own or someone else's drinking, Drinkaware and the NHS have free, confidential support.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
