To some people, a dinner party without alcohol sounds like a barbecue without a barbecue. Six adults stood in a garden, staring at raw sausages.
It isn't. But it does need a plan, because booze used to do a lot of the hosting for you. It filled awkward silences, made the burnt bits taste "rustic" and convinced Dave from next door he could sing.
So here's a worked example. Six guests, one Saturday, a proper timeline from the doorbell to the taxi. Steal the lot.
The short answer
A good alcohol-free dinner party swaps one drink all night for a run of drink moments. A bittersweet welcome drink, something crisp with the starter, a proper red with the main, a bit of fizz with pudding and a slow nightcap. Prep the food ahead and pour with confidence.
If you want the full shopping list, course by course, that's in the best non-alcoholic drinks for dinner parties. This one's the evening itself, hour by hour.
6.30pm: before the doorbell
Get everything that needs chilling in the fridge by lunchtime. Sparkling tea and fizz want a good few hours, and nothing kills a mood like a lukewarm welcome drink.
Open the red now so it can breathe. Then tidy the downstairs loo. Every guest will visit it, and every guest will judge the hand towel.
Lay out proper glasses: wine glasses for the tea, red and fizz, tumblers for the spritz. It's the Bake Off rule. Paul Hollywood judges the look before he's tasted a crumb.
7pm: doorbell and a welcome drink
Get a drink in every hand within two minutes of coats coming off. A guest with an empty hand starts reading your bookshelves, and nobody needs that.
Go bittersweet and bubbly. Smiling Wolf Aperitivo Spritz comes ready in a can: pour over ice, add a slice of orange, done. Put out olives and crisps and let people mingle.
One heads-up: it contains caffeine. Which is exactly why it goes first, not last.
7.45pm: sit down, starter, something crisp
Keep the starter fresh and light. Burrata with blood orange, a proper prawn cocktail, or smoked salmon on brown bread.
Open a bottle of Copenhagen Sparkling Tea LYSEGRØN. It's crisp and citrusy, with lemongrass, green tea and green apple, and it's brilliant with fish. Pour it into wine glasses and tell people what it is.
Top tip from a hosting manual I've just made up: never say "it's only alcohol-free". Say what it is and why you picked it. People take their cue from the host.
8.30pm: the main and a proper red
Cook something you can do ahead. A slow-cooked beef dish, a lamb shoulder, or a big tray of roast veg with mushroom gravy. You're hosting, not auditioning for MasterChef.
This is where the red earns its keep. Miris Blend Cabernet Sauvignon is part oak-aged, with blackcurrant, dark plum and silky tannins. It's made for beef and lamb.
Want to show off? ILEX Saint-Émilion Merlot is the first alcohol-free wine made in Saint-Émilion, with plum, black cherry and a touch of mocha. Save it for the guest who says alcohol-free wine "isn't really wine".
There's plenty more in our alcohol-free red wine range. Mix six bottles in a wine box and you get 10% off, or 15% off twelve.
9.30pm: pudding and a bit of sparkle
Keep pudding simple. Strawberries and cream, a lemon tart, or a cheeseboard if your lot are savoury.
Nobody remembers a soufflé that didn't rise. Except the person who made it. Forever.
A bottle of Wild Idol Sparkling Rosé lands nicely here: strawberry, peach and rose petal, fine bubbles, true 0.0%.
It looks a million dollars on the table, which is what you want before the speeches. There are no speeches. It's a dinner party. Calm down.
10.15pm: the nightcap
Now the evening slows right down. Sofas, a candle, the good chat. Someone always starts talking about their loft conversion.
For the whisky lovers, a measure of Glen Dochus Royale Deluxe with three parts water does the job: cedar, orange oils, buttery biscuit and oaky spice. It's 0.0% and made to be mixed, not sipped neat.
Put the kettle on too. In Yorkshire, a dinner party isn't over until somebody's offered a brew.
11pm: taxis and the quiet win
Everybody remembers the evening. Nobody's lost a shoe, and Dave from next door hasn't sung. You'll wake up to a kitchen that needs a clean, but not a head that feels like it's been through the dishwasher.
Planning a bigger do? My guide to alcohol-free hosting covers the rest.
Fancy trying a few bottles first? Pop into the Otley taproom and buy in person. Online orders can't be collected there, but the natter's free.
The serious bit
Not every alcohol-free drink is 0.0%. Many contain up to 0.5% ABV, so if a guest is pregnant, in recovery or avoids alcohol for religious reasons, check the labels or stick to our 0.0% range. Some drinks here contain caffeine, so mention it if anyone's sensitive.
If anyone's on medication, they should check with their GP. And if you or someone at the table is worried about their drinking, Drinkaware offers free, confidential advice.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
