There's a film called Sideways where a man spends two hours swirling wine, sniffing it, and refusing to drink Merlot. That's a tasting night. It's basically a party where everyone pretends they can taste gooseberry.
And here's the thing: you can do all of it without alcohol. The swirling. The sniffing. The bloke who says "I'm getting wet slate" with a completely straight face. It's just as fun, everyone can drive home, and nobody tells you they love you at 11pm.
Right. Here's how to host one.
The short answer
To host a sober tasting night, pick one theme, choose four to six alcohol-free drinks that contrast with each other, pour small measures (about 50 to 75ml each), and taste from lightest to darkest. Give everyone a simple scorecard, put out salty snacks, and keep it to about 90 minutes to two hours. Then let people go back to their favourites.
Step one: pick a theme
A random line-up of six drinks is just a fridge. A theme is a tasting. Pick one lane and stick to it. Beer from light to dark. Fizz from dry to fruity. A few versions of the same thing, side by side.
Four to six drinks is the sweet spot. Fewer and it's a bit thin. More and everyone's palate gives up around drink seven, like the last ten minutes of a Lord of the Rings film. You stop noticing anything. You just want it to end.
Step two: choose drinks that are different
The fun is in the contrast. You want one that's crisp, one that's bitter, one that's fruity, one that's rich. If they all taste roughly the same, the whole room will say "nice" six times and then talk about the bins.
To make it easy, here are three ready-made flights. Pick one.
Flight one: beer, light to dark
Start crisp, finish rich.
First, Brulo Highway to Helles, a bright, golden helles with cereal grain, grassy hops and a dry little bite at the end. Then Loch Lomond Southern Summit, an American pale ale with big grapefruit and orange from Summit and Citra hops. Third, Beak Brewery Nolia, a hazy IPA with apricot and mango. And finish with Ilkley Brewery Nowt Mary, a creamy milk stout with coffee bitterness, brewed just up the road from our Otley taproom.
That's four completely different beers, and a brilliant way to show your mate who "doesn't like alcohol-free beer" that he's been drinking the wrong ones. For more ideas, here are the best non-alcoholic craft beer brands.
Flight two: fizz, wine versus tea
This one's for former wine drinkers. Put Miris Blend Blanc de Blancs (green apple, lemon meringue, a hint of biscuit) next to Copenhagen Sparkling Tea BLÅ (jasmine, chamomile and a long, gently tannic finish from Darjeeling). Ask people which one is the wine. The arguments are excellent.
Flight three: the whisky head-to-head
Two bottles from the same range, so people can taste how much they differ. Pour Glen Dochus Highland (fruity and creamy, apricot and vanilla) next to Glen Dochus Island (peat smoke, sea spray and a bit of tar). Mix each one part to three parts water, as the bottle suggests. In a previous life I was a big peaty whisky fan, so I'll tell you now: Island wins. You're allowed to disagree. You'll be wrong, but you're allowed.
Step three: pour small, and use proper glasses
About 50 to 75ml per drink is plenty. Enough to look at, swirl, sniff and taste, not so much that you're full of fizz by round three. One 75cl bottle covers ten tasters. Very handy.
Use wine glasses if you can, because the shape holds the smell in. If you're short of glasses, borrow some, or wash them between rounds. Drinking stout out of a glass that still smells of grapefruit IPA is how wars start.
Step four: taste in the right order
Lightest to darkest. Driest to sweetest. Crisp and bubbly first, rich and bitter last. If you start with a big chocolatey stout, everything after it tastes like water.
Have water and plain crackers on the table so people can reset between drinks. The wellness industry calls this "cleansing the palate". I call it "having a cream cracker".
Step five: the scorecard
People love scoring things. Keep it simple: marks out of ten, plus a one-word review. That's it. Ban nothing. Some of the best one-word reviews you'll ever get will be things like "grassy", "Tuesday" and "Derek".
Then a few easy prompts to get people talking. What do you smell first? Is it dry or sweet? Would you drink a whole one, or is two sips enough? That last question is the important one. Some drinks are amazing for two sips and exhausting by the bottom of the glass.
Step six: food (salty is your friend)
Salty, fatty snacks work with almost everything. Good cheese, olives, crisps, roasted nuts and pickles. Beer flights can handle more: flatbreads, sausage rolls, a proper strong cheddar. Fizz loves anything salty and crispy.
Just don't serve a full lasagne halfway through. It'll hijack the whole night. Graze lightly during the tasting, then bring out the big food when the scoring's done.
Step seven: let it turn into a party
Ninety minutes to two hours of tasting is plenty. After that, stop being the teacher. Let everyone go back to their favourite and just enjoy it. That's when the real night starts.
If you're also hosting a bigger crowd, our guide to alcohol-free hosting covers quantities and the rest. And for game nights, kids' birthdays and the like, see how to host alcohol-free gatherings.
Fancy a fermented flight?
Kombucha makes a brilliant tasting flight too, because every brewer's version is wildly different. Some are sharp and dry, some are fruity, some are funky enough to start an argument. We don't sell it on this site, but my sister shop Kombucha Club has plenty to line up.
Getting the drinks in
The easiest way to buy a whole flight is to build a box. Mix any 6 or more drinks for 5% off, 12 or more for 10%, and 24 or more for 15%. Wine and spirits get their own deal: 6 bottles for 10% off, 12 for 15%. Delivery is free on UK mainland orders over £85, and £4.95 under.
Or come and do some research at our Otley taproom, 7 Manor Square, LS21 3AP. Online orders can't be collected there, but you can buy everything in person and practise saying "grassy" in front of a professional.
The serious bit
In the UK, drinks up to 0.5% ABV count as alcohol-free. That isn't 0.0%, so if any of your guests need zero, check the label. We show the exact ABV on every product page.
Anyone who's pregnant or on medication should check with their GP. And if you're worried about your drinking, Drinkaware and the NHS alcohol advice pages have free, proper support.
Kombucha Kev, Functional Drinks Club
