It's 1 January. You've made a promise. A whole month off the booze.
Somewhere in the distance, a voice whispers: “Winter is coming.” Mate, it's already here. It's dark at half four and your bank account looks like a crime scene.
Here's how to get through it with your sanity intact. From a 46-year-old dad who gets genuinely excited about fermented tea. I know. Bear with me.
Week one: the honeymoon
You're flying. You've drunk enough water to float a canal boat. You've told everyone. You've bought a gym membership you'll use twice.
Enjoy it. Bank the smugness. You'll need it in week two.
Week two: the wobble
The first Friday hits, and your brain goes full Gollum. “We wants it. We needs it. Just one, precious.”
Don't fight the Friday feeling, feed it. Same glass, same sofa, same film. Different drink. A cold Cloudwater Fresh AF scratches the itch better than you'd think.
Week three: Blue Monday
Someone on the radio tells you it's the most depressing day of the year. Thanks, pal.
Get outside. A walk in the cold air does wonders. Then come home, make a stew and pour a glass of Noughty's organic red. Stew, red, feet up. That's not suffering. That's a Tuesday in Tuscany.
Week four: the home straight
Something weird happens. You wake up on a Saturday and you feel... good? You do things before lunch. Your mates text “who are you?”
I swapped wine for kombucha, cut down, then cut it out. One of the big changes? More energy. I'm 46 with an 8-year-old I want to keep up with in my 70s. I'll take every bit of energy going.
The danger: becoming a runner
By February, some people have so much energy they take up running. Then it's five-hour runs every Sunday. They swapped hangovers for hamstrings. Still out the game. You'll never see them at a Sunday roast again. Don't let this happen to you. Or do. Your call.
The golden rules
Keep the ritual. Plan for the danger zones. Don't go full monk: go out, order an alcohol-free beer, and be the one who remembers the end of the night.
And if you wobble? “Just keep swimming.” Dory had it right.
The deal bit
Mix any 6 drinks and get 5% off, up to 15% for 24. Wine and spirits get 10% off 6 bottles. Everything else is in our Dry January guide. See you on the other side. I'll be back.
The serious bit
If you drink heavily every day, speak to your GP before you start Dry January, because stopping suddenly can be dangerous. And if you slip up, one drink doesn't undo the month. Carry on.
