Let me set expectations. I am not a mixologist. My cocktail skills peak at putting ice in a glass. Add a slice of cucumber and I think I'm Tom Cruise in Cocktail.
So if I can make these, you can. No shaker, no fancy kit, no bartending course. Just pour.
1. The G&T (difficulty: can you pour?)
Pearsons London Botanic is a 0.0% London Dry-style gin alternative made in Scotland, with citrus, elderflower, green apple and a proper juniper finish.
Big glass. Lots of ice. One part Pearsons to three parts Mediterranean tonic. Slice of cucumber or lemon. Done. Don't drink it neat. It's made for tonic, and neat it's like licking a hedgerow.
2. The Paloma (difficulty: can you squeeze a lime?)
Seven Giants Blanco is made with organic blue agave. Crisp, clean, with vanilla, floral notes and a hint of smoke. 0.0%.
Tall glass, ice, a good measure of Seven Giants, the juice of half a lime, top with grapefruit soda and a tiny pinch of salt. Pretend you're in Mexico. Ignore the drizzle on the window in Otley.
3. The Limoncello Spritz (difficulty: can you open a bottle of fizz?)
Pallini Limonzero is proper Italian limoncello at 0.0%, made with Amalfi lemons by a family that's been at it since 1875. They've had a bit more practice than me.
Wine glass, ice, a measure of Limonzero, top with Pierre Zéro Sparkling Chardonnay, splash of soda, slice of lemon. This is the one that makes people say “wait, this is alcohol free?”
Too lazy for even that?
Same. That's what pre-mixed cocktails are for. A Savyll Moscow Mule is ginger, mint and real lime over ice. A copper mug is optional. A personality is also optional.
After dinner? The Mocktails Espress0% Martini pours with a proper crema from its nitro can. Warning: it's about a double espresso's worth of caffeine. Have one at 10pm and you'll be alphabetising the spice rack at midnight.
The deal bit
Spirits get our best deal: 6 bottles of wine or spirits get 10% off, 12 get 15%. Build a spirits box and stock the cabinet. For more, see our Sober October guide.
The serious bit
Every drink shows its exact ABV, and 0.0% means zero. Check the caffeine on coffee cocktails if you're sensitive to it. And if you're worried about your drinking, your GP is a great first call.
